I keep waiting...

I keep waiting for the day when I have a great epiphany that allows me to discern the meaning of my existence....and I'm still waiting.

I don't completely believe in predestination...we do have free will after all. But I do believe that we each have a purpose on earth. I just don't know what the hell my purpose is. I fee like I'm going through the motions....allowing others to believe that I have a clue. I feel like a phony.

All my friends think I'm so self-assured...so confident. I'm freaking out inside...on a daily basis. Some days it feels like I'm hanging by a thread and at any moment.....SNAP! It's going to break and I'm going to be hurtled into the unknown.

Some day I'll know what's going on...but until then....I'll be sitting in the corner...muttering to myself and rocking myself....