Thank you all for the emails and comments...

about last night's post...

I know that I have so much to be thankful for...and that I am not without *some* kind of talent or I would not have acheived what I have so far...It's nice to know that so many of you think so much of me.

In the back of my head I know that my statements make last night's post look totally like a *PVM*...but the voice in the front of my head is telling me that I truly suck and everything that I have accomplished is a fluke...as unreasonable as that sounds...it's just the way I feel...

how much rejection can one person take.............

before just hanging it up and selling everything???

I have submitted for mags....and tried out for DTs....I have participated in "contests"...all to no avail....nothing...

I'm beginning to wonder why I do it...why do I put myself in the position to feel badly about my creations? why do I allow that to affect me so emotionally? why am I really creating...for them or for me?

How many times can you have something so personal...and such a part of you....be rejected....and not fall apart? it's like having your heart torn each time.

Then I begin to second guess my work....is it my design that is flawed? is it visually unappealing and I only think it's good becuase...well...it's mine?

What makes me...a normally self assured and high esteemed person....think that I need others approval and validation?...

I have no idea.....

but with all my self assurance....and high self esteem....it still stings everytime I miss out on an oppurtunity that I thought was surely mine.....

oh where oh where has my mojo gone....

if anyone sees it please send it back home...

I got a layout done the other day...and it's really great...of course I screwed the pooch on the journaling printout...stupid vellum...it feathered....so now that's useless...but the design itself is really good....but after that my creativity decided to take a walk...and hasn't come back yet...

by the end of the day it seems that the kids just have me so stressed and tired that I have no energy to do anything....and of course my insomnia sucks bigtime cause I can't sleep...but I can't scrap....

I did get the TTs registered for school for next year. I don't understand Alabama. You have to register a whole 8 months before they are going to start...insane I tell you...the competition to get your kids into a certain school is crazy...parents waiting in line at 5 in the morning for open registration...whatever...there is no way you'd find my happy butt in the cold at 5 am for a PRESCHOOL registration...nuts...thank goodness current students and siblings get priority registration....or else they'd be home with me rather than school...I hate lines...

I did get a bit of good news yesterday though...found out that Royal & Langnickel has a "pay for publication" policy that they just released...which means that the card that I had publised this month will get me some cash and free product...thank you R&L!! Gotta love it when your work gets you published AND paid!!!.....

Talk about mass merchandising....

or at least mass tagging....

Lisa G did a mass tag on her blog...so I am answering her list o'questions...


1. What is your full name now?
Michele Tisler

2. What color pants are you wearing?
Old comfy blue denim

3. What are you listening to right now?
sweet silence ... everyone's asleep

4. What was the last thing you ate?
biscotti

5. Do you wish on stars?
only shooting stars

6. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
Lime green...loud...obnoxious...and fun

7. How is the weather right now?
cold

8. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
my husband

9. Do you like the person who tagged/sent this to you?
only from her posts in the pub...she seems really sweet though!!

10. How old are you today?
argh...old old as my hubby would say...31

11. Favorite drink?
coffee

12. Favorite sport?
hockey

13. Hair color?
brown

14. Siblings?
2 brothers

15. Favorite food?
sushi

16. What was the last movie you watched?
can't remember

17. Favorite day of the year?
mother's day

18. What was your favourite toy as a child?
major morgan

19. Summer or winter?
summer definitely

20. Hugs or kisses?
hugs

21. Chocolate or Vanilla?
chocolate

22. Living arrangements?
in a house....with a husband and 2 kids...2 dogs...and a cat who thinks she runs the place...

23. When was the last time you cried?
today

24. What is under your bed?
dust bunnies...we let them stay there so they don't invade the rest of the house...you know how bunnies can be.......

25. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
well the longest...would be Krysten...but we aren't in touch...

26. What did you do last night?
watched the sheild

27. Favorite smell?
bleach and dryer lint (I know...weird...but it smells really clean)

28. Favorite TV show?
right now...judging amy and ER

29. Happy In life?
most days

30. What are you afraid of?
spiders...the dark...being alone

31. Plain, buttered or salted popcorn?
buttered and salted

32. Favorite car?
spider

33. Favorite Flower?
daisy

34. Number of keys on your key ring?
7

35. How many years at your current job?
4 years as a SAHM

36. Favorite day of the week?
saturday

37. What did you do on your last birthday?
went to the movies

38. How many cities have you lived in?
too many...last count was 9

39. Do you make friends easily?
yes

It's been a while....

sine my last update. Let's see....what has been going on....

Well the fundraiser came off without a hitch. We had a great time and reaised a lot of money for the family. You can read updates on JJ's progress at www.jjsmiracle.com .

I have a friend who was picked up for the Scrapworks Design Team *YAY Kimber* I am so proud of her and she is a great designer.

I'm working on 2 CJ groups...sent one out already and received one....and the second one will go out at the end of the month...


The NSA

There has been a lot of talk lately about the NSA. They have made scrap-source a pay service under the NSA membership umbrella. I for one won't be paying fo something that I can get for free....

so.............

Thanks to Scrapsubmit and their wonderful service. I now have a scrolling, up-to-date, auto-updating call for pages to the right of your screen. What a great thing.......and a novel idea.....so now whenever you want a call...check here...click on the link...and the information for that call will pop up. Vundabar!!

bored bored bored

ok...yeah I changed to format...got bored with the green and orange....besides my pics seem to show up better with the black background....

so the countdown has begun until the charity crop....all I have to do is get the goody bags together and then show up on saturday...YAY!!

TT1 goes back to school..not a day too soon..but not until Tuesday....I can tell he has had enough of his quality time with his family when tonight at dinner I got a phone call and he swore it was his teacher calling to talk to me...poor little guy....

The boys are aclimating to being in the same room...My feelings are still up in the air...they fight everynight and don't lay down to go to sleep until at least 9...and they are so mean to each other....I don't understand it...but everyone tells me they will grow out of it...I hope so...my nerves can't take much more...

There is a scrapbook retreat that a friend of mine is having in April for 3 days...I would like to go...but I probably won't....can't spare me from the house for that long....ah well...so is the life of a SAHM...always on duty...

I have been looking into classes at the local college for film and photography...the only degree they offer is cinematography and film...which will give me the background I need to become a pro...but a lot of extra classes I will never use...unless I plan on moving to hollywood anyways....I'll have to do more research and find a program that fits me well....

someone had suggested to me to try and get a gig as an assistant to a local pro...oh yeah...in all the spare time that I have after kids and home and my board position....I'll fit that in.....

My so-called life......

Well other than yesterday's entry I realize that I haven't blogged in quite some time. Things here have been pretty hectic. TT1 has ben home from school since the 20th of december...and doesn't go back until the 10th of January. Oh the life of a teacher..summers off and almost 3 months of vacations during the school year too....Hubby has been home from work too and just went back yesterday. I'm sure he is glad to be back to the ho-hum of the office after having to be here for 2 weeks.

I am guessing that my funk that I had been in was not holiday related as I am still there even though the holidays have gone by. I just don't feel like doing anything. My kids annoy me at the drop of a hat. I want to get things done but just don'e have the where-withall to actually do them. I see in my brain what I need to do...but actually making it happen seems to be too much work.

I'm not eating right...now if you've ever seen me you probably know that I look like I have never missed a meal...but in the past week I have had two incidents where I felt like I would pass out any second and I realized it was because I hadn't eaten anything that day or had eaten something very small that morning and now it's dinner time. It just doesn't seem logical to say that a fat woman is malnourished...but I really believe that is part of my problem...I forget to eat...then when I remember I eat things that you really shouldn't eat for a meal.

I am still working on getting the fundraiser crop to come together. On one of my yahoo groups a local lady offered to donate the bags so I have somewhere to put the goody bags for everyone who's coming. I have been so lucky to get good sponsorship for this event. I pray that everything turns out okay. I really want it to go smoothly and everyone to have a great time.

The MSF meetings should be starting up again sometime this month. I am so glad that at the elections in October I was able to get out of being secretary. One more thing I don't have to worry about....of course they did vote me in vice-president...but it isn't the same level. As secretary I couldn't miss a meeting - EVER. At least now if I can't be there or want to go on vacation...it's okay. I feel so free...........

Well I guess everyone is probably tired of hearing me bitch and moan....I've filled my quota of complaints for the day....so I will bid you adieu.

Okay...I've been Tagged!!!

Amy tagged me to tell 5 weird things about myself...wow only 5??? I could go on for days.....


1. I eat toast with butter AND peanut butter on it. If you just put the PB on there it's all sticky..........

2. I can lick my chin....

3. I can hiccup and burp at the same time......

4. I am a SAHM who can't cook....well I don't know if it's can't cook...or I just don't know how to put a meal together...I am able to cook things that don't require too much cooking knowledge...like meatloaf...but actually figuring out a meal...I am lost...I can walk between my freezer and pantry a million times and not be able to come up with anything...even if I just went shopping...

5. I want to visit Graceland. I don't know why...I'm really not that big of an Elvis fan...but I have some need to go see that house. Maybe it's my grandmother (who should have been a southerner) camped out in my subconscience who wants me to go there....but before I die...I will have been there....bet on it...

so there are 5 weird and wacky things about me..... hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

It's Official!!!

Here is the ad for the benefit crop




{Thanks Karen for your wonderful help and expertise with this!!}

I am taking it to the printer right now to get copies done and distributed. I am getting excited...a whole day of scrapping...A WHOLE DAY!!!!It'll be amazing...and for a great cause. I hope that we have a great turn out. The sponsorships have been wonderful and I have already gotten several requests for registration information. I am really looking forward to having some serious fun!!

It does snow in Alabama!!

or at least it did last night at the Santa's Village at Constitution Village.

We took the boys to Santa's Village as a treat since they were well behaved yesterday. We had never gone before, but it is sure to become a holiday tradition for us now that we have been there. We had a great time.

We checked out Blizten and Comet....



and decorated cookies....





and of course we saw the big guy...




We had a really good time with the kids. Still hasn't broken me out of my funk...but it was a good time. We were glad that we god there when we did too....the line was ten times longer when we got out from seeing Santa as it was when we went in!! Thank goodness hubby has off until the 2nd and we could be there right when it opened at 5.

After Santa we took the boys to the Waffle King (their favorite place to eat) and found out they will be open on Christmas day. YAY!! Merry Christmas to me!! We can go out and eat and there won't be any dishes to wash or Hams to be cooked. What a lucky break. Two years ago we found out that the only chinese place open on Christmas day is the one on the movie "A Christmas Story". Last year we found out that it is still expensive even if you make your own lunchmeat and hors d'vours (sp?). So it was great to find a place that is open on Christmas day. Waffles for everyone!!

I'm in a funk.....

I just can't get in the christmas mood. I think I've been oversaturated on the whole christmas thing already. I'm just ready to take everything down and get it over with. Hopefully the spirit will hit me and I'll get out of this foul mood....soon....

here are some pics I took of the decorations though...











I was also in a secret santa on 2Ps...My secret santa was Brandi who spoiled me rotten with a ton of Rob & Bob line from Provocraft!! She also sent me Runts ... which are my all time favorite candy...Thanks Brandi!!

Here's a pic of my stash...

okay...

more playing with the camera.... I think I have the aperature down for making the "star" pattern with the lights...looks pretty cool if you click on the photo to make it larger......

And so the time is once again upon us....

for Festivus!!!





We did get the tree up...well at least with some lights on it...and hubby made fun of me cause I shot 80 pics...of just the tree. In my own defense I was playing with the manual settings to see what I could get. I still have yet to play with the ISO...but this is a good one to start with...



yes it's a little dark...this one is a bit lighter...

I'll have to play more with the settings tonight ... maybe we can even get some decorations on it...if the TTs cooperate!!

Christmas comes early....

Or at least it did for me! Last night hubby was listening to me ramble on and on about having to go and get more film for the camera since TT#1 has a Christmas pageant on Thursday next week. Since I'm out of film - that is a problem. So as I sit on the floor after dinner and play with my boys while the hubby cleans up in the kitchen, TT#1 comes in with a box. I look at the box then look at my hubby and ask him "why am I getting this early?" he in turn tells me to just open the box. I open it and immediately start squealing. This is what is in the box ~~~~~~~~










are ya ready?



















it's really good~~~


















TA-DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

let me say that one more time

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So now I am on a camera high. I just have to figure out how to use this thing now. Last night we were playing with the burst setting and the different aperatures. I really need to sit down and read so I can learn everything that the camera can do. I am just so excited.

It came with a kit lens (18-55) but I still have my film SLR lens (18-80) . Hubby also got me a 1GB card which should hold a lot of pics. I still have my camera bag from my film SLR so it fits in there perfectly. It came with some software but I haven't made it that far to install it. It has some photo editing software and printing software which should come in really handy.

I honestly started crying last night after the TTs went to bed. I just couldn't believe it. I own this camera. It's out of character for hubby to buy something so expensive that isn't a "household" item and the camera is a frivolous item. It really means a lot to me that he wanted me to have it. I can't help but wonder if it has something to do with all the whining I do about the cameras that I have.

No matter what the reason he did it - I love my hubby. I love my new camera and I hope that it helps me become a better photographer.

Well I've rambled enough now...off to shoot some pics!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Tension breaker had to be done!!

I have rec'd not one...not two...but three confirmations that my entry has been rec'd for the Provocraft DT. I feel like such a dolt...hopefully a dolt who didn't just disqualify herself for trying to submit multiple times.

I sent the first one...no confirmation.....so I thought...maybe the files were too large.

I sent the second one...no confirmation...so I thought...maybe it doesn't like my domain that I am mailing from.

I sent the third one...rec'd a confirmation!!

Rec'd another confirmation.....and another!! DAMN!!

Patience is a virtue....that I obviously don't hold dear. But at least it's out there. They have it. I won't be wondering if I didn't make it because they just never rec'd the entry. Now I"ll know that I didn't make it cause of all the killer talent that applied.

Next is the Junkitz DT. I don't know if I"ll get anything done in time...but I"m gonna give it my best shot. Oh crap....that shot better happen quick...I only have until tomorrow at midnight to finish one half-completed project and uhm.....3 others?? crap.

Here's your sign....

We've all heard the routine right? Bill Engval doing his little jokes about how stupid people can be? I, today, became one of those people.

They have a smokin' deal on batteries at Advance Auto. Since half if not all of the kids toys from relatives require batteries and *gasp* they didn't send any, I went there this afternoon to pick up enough batteries to run a war ship for a year. I get out of my car and walk up to the building. I wait for the automatic door...

and wait.........

and wait.........

yep you guessed it - no automatic door!! I am standing there looking like a complete moron cause I thought that the door would just open. Like I am a modern day Moses, and I'm waiting for the doors to open for me like the parting of the Red Sea. Luckily for me I immediately thought of something that a good friend of mine told me once. If you actually knew how many times strangers thought about you, you'd realize that they don't. Thank goodness that is true.

Gimmie an "S"......

Gimmie an "I"
Gimmie a "C"
Gimmie a "K"

What does that spell?

SICK!!!

That is what we have been here since Thursday night. Way to spend a holiday weekend. Hubby is outside right now putting up the holiday spectacle...I mean spectacular....that he was too ill to put up yesterday. And of course now that it's Saturday and the weekend is almost over - I'm sick as a dog too. Just in time for hubby to go back to work. Oh joy to the world.

The holiday wasn't all bad though. Christopher is out of the hospital, the drain is out, and he is on limited mobility for a while. We are very thankful that things are going well. God has a plan...lucky for us that plan leaves Christopher with us a while longer. He is in good spirits about everything and thinks it's pretty cool to be the first person (and hopefully the last) in his family to undergo brain surgery. I guess that's quite a milestone for a teenager!!

I'm hoping that your holidays are starting off well...and that you didn't get your ass kicked on Black Friday while you were out shopping. Lay off the leftovers and don't have too much eggnog.

Just another Manic Monday....

Today was the first day of hubby's week-long vacation. So of course I had to make plans to do something as a family...and of course it had to rain. Should I have expected anything less?




Chirstmas Pictures!!

We went to a newer studio here in the big H that is called Innovative Portraits. They were WONDERFUL!!! They got great candids of the boys, a gaw-juss family photo and it wasn't bank breaking!! All in all I was fairly impressed. The pricing of Wal-mart with the quality of a full service studio. The best part - my photos were done in 30 minutes for me to pick them up and take them home. That's better than the 1 hour service at the Walgreens that we use for my digi camera!!

Yesterday is history....

Tomorrow a mystery...
Today is a gift...
That is why it is called...

THE PRESENT.

And that is what we received today - a present. Today we found out that Christopher is okay. It was a colloid cyst, not a tumor as we originally thought. Last night the doctors removed it from the center of his brain and today he's doing okay. He will need to leave the drain in place for a while still and they will determine if it needs to have a permanen shunt put in from his skull to his stomach.

But today we accept the present that we have been given. We thank Him for it.

and the beat goes on.....

That's what I think of as I sit here listening to my TT#1 beating on his bedroom door becuase it's bedtime. He thinks it's time to throw a fit. Like that's going to get him anywhere. Not today. No way.

Husband comes home. Spring on garage door opener on his side of the garage snaps. He tells me I'm lucky that it didn't hit my car when it snapped. Au'contrare mon ami. Me thinks YOU are the lucky one. But I digress. A trip to the Depot to get a replacement spring. Put spring on door opener. Realize should have bought 2 springs so that the tension is the same. Trip to Depot to buy second spring. Put second spring on door. Raise door. Lower door. Realize as door is halfway down that it has torqued off level. Then realize that there is nothing that you can do but stand there and watch the windows in the door shatter. Cuss repeatedly. Call garage door replacement company to come out and give an estimate for two new doors and one new opener. My dreams of a new digital camera are slowly going down the drain as home expenses tally up in the back of my mind.

Bye bye rebel.

I loved you.