Thank you all for the emails and comments...

about last night's post...

I know that I have so much to be thankful for...and that I am not without *some* kind of talent or I would not have acheived what I have so far...It's nice to know that so many of you think so much of me.

In the back of my head I know that my statements make last night's post look totally like a *PVM*...but the voice in the front of my head is telling me that I truly suck and everything that I have accomplished is a fluke...as unreasonable as that sounds...it's just the way I feel...

how much rejection can one person take.............

before just hanging it up and selling everything???

I have submitted for mags....and tried out for DTs....I have participated in "contests"...all to no avail....nothing...

I'm beginning to wonder why I do it...why do I put myself in the position to feel badly about my creations? why do I allow that to affect me so emotionally? why am I really creating...for them or for me?

How many times can you have something so personal...and such a part of you....be rejected....and not fall apart? it's like having your heart torn each time.

Then I begin to second guess my work....is it my design that is flawed? is it visually unappealing and I only think it's good becuase...well...it's mine?

What makes me...a normally self assured and high esteemed person....think that I need others approval and validation?...

I have no idea.....

but with all my self assurance....and high self esteem....it still stings everytime I miss out on an oppurtunity that I thought was surely mine.....

oh where oh where has my mojo gone....

if anyone sees it please send it back home...

I got a layout done the other day...and it's really great...of course I screwed the pooch on the journaling printout...stupid vellum...it feathered....so now that's useless...but the design itself is really good....but after that my creativity decided to take a walk...and hasn't come back yet...

by the end of the day it seems that the kids just have me so stressed and tired that I have no energy to do anything....and of course my insomnia sucks bigtime cause I can't sleep...but I can't scrap....

I did get the TTs registered for school for next year. I don't understand Alabama. You have to register a whole 8 months before they are going to start...insane I tell you...the competition to get your kids into a certain school is crazy...parents waiting in line at 5 in the morning for open registration...whatever...there is no way you'd find my happy butt in the cold at 5 am for a PRESCHOOL registration...nuts...thank goodness current students and siblings get priority registration....or else they'd be home with me rather than school...I hate lines...

I did get a bit of good news yesterday though...found out that Royal & Langnickel has a "pay for publication" policy that they just released...which means that the card that I had publised this month will get me some cash and free product...thank you R&L!! Gotta love it when your work gets you published AND paid!!!.....

Talk about mass merchandising....

or at least mass tagging....

Lisa G did a mass tag on her blog...so I am answering her list o'questions...


1. What is your full name now?
Michele Tisler

2. What color pants are you wearing?
Old comfy blue denim

3. What are you listening to right now?
sweet silence ... everyone's asleep

4. What was the last thing you ate?
biscotti

5. Do you wish on stars?
only shooting stars

6. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
Lime green...loud...obnoxious...and fun

7. How is the weather right now?
cold

8. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
my husband

9. Do you like the person who tagged/sent this to you?
only from her posts in the pub...she seems really sweet though!!

10. How old are you today?
argh...old old as my hubby would say...31

11. Favorite drink?
coffee

12. Favorite sport?
hockey

13. Hair color?
brown

14. Siblings?
2 brothers

15. Favorite food?
sushi

16. What was the last movie you watched?
can't remember

17. Favorite day of the year?
mother's day

18. What was your favourite toy as a child?
major morgan

19. Summer or winter?
summer definitely

20. Hugs or kisses?
hugs

21. Chocolate or Vanilla?
chocolate

22. Living arrangements?
in a house....with a husband and 2 kids...2 dogs...and a cat who thinks she runs the place...

23. When was the last time you cried?
today

24. What is under your bed?
dust bunnies...we let them stay there so they don't invade the rest of the house...you know how bunnies can be.......

25. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
well the longest...would be Krysten...but we aren't in touch...

26. What did you do last night?
watched the sheild

27. Favorite smell?
bleach and dryer lint (I know...weird...but it smells really clean)

28. Favorite TV show?
right now...judging amy and ER

29. Happy In life?
most days

30. What are you afraid of?
spiders...the dark...being alone

31. Plain, buttered or salted popcorn?
buttered and salted

32. Favorite car?
spider

33. Favorite Flower?
daisy

34. Number of keys on your key ring?
7

35. How many years at your current job?
4 years as a SAHM

36. Favorite day of the week?
saturday

37. What did you do on your last birthday?
went to the movies

38. How many cities have you lived in?
too many...last count was 9

39. Do you make friends easily?
yes

It's been a while....

sine my last update. Let's see....what has been going on....

Well the fundraiser came off without a hitch. We had a great time and reaised a lot of money for the family. You can read updates on JJ's progress at www.jjsmiracle.com .

I have a friend who was picked up for the Scrapworks Design Team *YAY Kimber* I am so proud of her and she is a great designer.

I'm working on 2 CJ groups...sent one out already and received one....and the second one will go out at the end of the month...


The NSA

There has been a lot of talk lately about the NSA. They have made scrap-source a pay service under the NSA membership umbrella. I for one won't be paying fo something that I can get for free....

so.............

Thanks to Scrapsubmit and their wonderful service. I now have a scrolling, up-to-date, auto-updating call for pages to the right of your screen. What a great thing.......and a novel idea.....so now whenever you want a call...check here...click on the link...and the information for that call will pop up. Vundabar!!

bored bored bored

ok...yeah I changed to format...got bored with the green and orange....besides my pics seem to show up better with the black background....

so the countdown has begun until the charity crop....all I have to do is get the goody bags together and then show up on saturday...YAY!!

TT1 goes back to school..not a day too soon..but not until Tuesday....I can tell he has had enough of his quality time with his family when tonight at dinner I got a phone call and he swore it was his teacher calling to talk to me...poor little guy....

The boys are aclimating to being in the same room...My feelings are still up in the air...they fight everynight and don't lay down to go to sleep until at least 9...and they are so mean to each other....I don't understand it...but everyone tells me they will grow out of it...I hope so...my nerves can't take much more...

There is a scrapbook retreat that a friend of mine is having in April for 3 days...I would like to go...but I probably won't....can't spare me from the house for that long....ah well...so is the life of a SAHM...always on duty...

I have been looking into classes at the local college for film and photography...the only degree they offer is cinematography and film...which will give me the background I need to become a pro...but a lot of extra classes I will never use...unless I plan on moving to hollywood anyways....I'll have to do more research and find a program that fits me well....

someone had suggested to me to try and get a gig as an assistant to a local pro...oh yeah...in all the spare time that I have after kids and home and my board position....I'll fit that in.....

My so-called life......

Well other than yesterday's entry I realize that I haven't blogged in quite some time. Things here have been pretty hectic. TT1 has ben home from school since the 20th of december...and doesn't go back until the 10th of January. Oh the life of a teacher..summers off and almost 3 months of vacations during the school year too....Hubby has been home from work too and just went back yesterday. I'm sure he is glad to be back to the ho-hum of the office after having to be here for 2 weeks.

I am guessing that my funk that I had been in was not holiday related as I am still there even though the holidays have gone by. I just don't feel like doing anything. My kids annoy me at the drop of a hat. I want to get things done but just don'e have the where-withall to actually do them. I see in my brain what I need to do...but actually making it happen seems to be too much work.

I'm not eating right...now if you've ever seen me you probably know that I look like I have never missed a meal...but in the past week I have had two incidents where I felt like I would pass out any second and I realized it was because I hadn't eaten anything that day or had eaten something very small that morning and now it's dinner time. It just doesn't seem logical to say that a fat woman is malnourished...but I really believe that is part of my problem...I forget to eat...then when I remember I eat things that you really shouldn't eat for a meal.

I am still working on getting the fundraiser crop to come together. On one of my yahoo groups a local lady offered to donate the bags so I have somewhere to put the goody bags for everyone who's coming. I have been so lucky to get good sponsorship for this event. I pray that everything turns out okay. I really want it to go smoothly and everyone to have a great time.

The MSF meetings should be starting up again sometime this month. I am so glad that at the elections in October I was able to get out of being secretary. One more thing I don't have to worry about....of course they did vote me in vice-president...but it isn't the same level. As secretary I couldn't miss a meeting - EVER. At least now if I can't be there or want to go on vacation...it's okay. I feel so free...........

Well I guess everyone is probably tired of hearing me bitch and moan....I've filled my quota of complaints for the day....so I will bid you adieu.

Okay...I've been Tagged!!!

Amy tagged me to tell 5 weird things about myself...wow only 5??? I could go on for days.....


1. I eat toast with butter AND peanut butter on it. If you just put the PB on there it's all sticky..........

2. I can lick my chin....

3. I can hiccup and burp at the same time......

4. I am a SAHM who can't cook....well I don't know if it's can't cook...or I just don't know how to put a meal together...I am able to cook things that don't require too much cooking knowledge...like meatloaf...but actually figuring out a meal...I am lost...I can walk between my freezer and pantry a million times and not be able to come up with anything...even if I just went shopping...

5. I want to visit Graceland. I don't know why...I'm really not that big of an Elvis fan...but I have some need to go see that house. Maybe it's my grandmother (who should have been a southerner) camped out in my subconscience who wants me to go there....but before I die...I will have been there....bet on it...

so there are 5 weird and wacky things about me..... hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!