Another day in paradise....pass the vodka

So this week has been a week of new things.

First week of school for TT#1.

First week with brother at school for TT#2.

First week of Mommy and Me.

First week of my nervous breakdown.

I'm sure you can see I've been busy.


So that brings us to today. Today is a "party" day. For those of us in the south who are in a large group of SAHMs - you know what I am talking about. For the rest of you a party day is the day that everyone schedules their home parties with whatever consultant and the whole group convenes on your house with their children. The children go into the playroom and the moms are sequestered into the family room/kitchen and socialize and maybe buy something.

Today's party was Pampered Chef. I love PC parties cause the food is always good and the consultant is my friend. So we pack up and head over to the hostess's house for the party to start at 9:30. All goes well... we eat ... we laugh ... we eat some more.

Right up until about 11:30. That is when the pee hits the fan - or in my case the slide. TT#1 who has been swearing to me all morning that not only does he not have to go potty but that I am bothering him, decides that rather than stop playing he will just go right there. While in the playroom going down the slide he pees. Thank goodness I am standing right in the doorway so I see it happen and can get it cleaned up and get him out of there right away.

That is when the fun begins.

My 3 year old boy now has the lung capacity and strength of a grown man. I am trying to "direct" him to the car while holding my 1 year old in my arms and trying not to drop him. As I am dragging him by the arm to the car he is screaming at me to let go and then he tries to bite me. He is kicking, and hitting, and swearing that I want to hurt him -

which of course I do but I show great restraint.

Then when we get to the car he decides that he's going to make a break for it. Running as fast as his little legs can carry him he runs back down the block to the front of the house and sits on the front steps. Of course when I finally catch up with him - baby still on hip and now very uncomfortable - I look up at the door just in time to see the hostess standing there with the most sympathetic face. I smile...grab the heathen's arm...and drag him back to car.

Finally after a great fight I get both boys strapped in and I am ready to leave them in the car and walk home.

I take a deep breath


get in the car


and drive home.

I then get home and toss TT#1 into his room and change his clothes all the while listening to him tell me how much he doesn't like me and I'm mean and bad to him. I then shut his door - and lock it.

Thankfully he has now screamed himself to sleep on the floor in his room. He looks so peaceful - but I know the truth. After this morning's exhibit I am sure that the church will grant permission to perform an exorcism - cause my child was obviously possessed.